Six years and a child after, how does a marriage look like?
I tell you what it’s like for us now.
At six years, it’s not all about romance. It’s not all about the warm, fuzzy feeling you get during the dating and honeymoon stage. It’s not announcing to the world the sweet gestures every single time—photos, emojis and all. It is not about who is doing more, giving more, pouring more.
It is descending from the romantic pedestal to the practical grounds of tending to the daily needs.
It is hard work and patience. It is grace re-offered on a daily. It is allowing for arguments and compromise. It is choosing to forgive mistakes, mishaps, and misses because it is not marriage if we don’t.
It is embracing the joys and challenges of introducing a child into the equation. It is learning to love another human being without that very same love tearing us apart. It is so easy to lose sight of one another while tending to a tiny human being’s needs and demands. It is so easy.
It is talking things through even when talking gets hard and painful. It is humbly accepting your human frailties. It is the giving up of time so one can carve out time to pursue what makes another one’s soul come alive.
It is adapting to the changing seasons of life. We make adjustments when it’s winter—in finances, dreams, and health. We allow for extra leisure when it’s all sunshine and blooms. We treasure the dreams which come true and continue to pray for what is not yet in our hands.
And lastly, we always try to come back to this truth when things are not fireflies and butterflies: It is recognizing that apart from the One who designed and authored marriage, we will not be able to do this marriage thing right.
Six years R, high five! To more years of loving and choosing to love despite all.
Here’s the date on the 30th of June 2018 to celebrate the sixth year.
Place: Sophie’s Rooftop Bar and Restaurant, Dublin, Ireland.